Ok, I know I talk about poop on this blog a lot. We all do it because if we didn't poop, just imagine what people would look like if they didn't. So anyway, after my morning coffee and I need to do the deed, right? So, instead of going to the usual communal bathroom, located by our office manager's desk I decided to use my boss' executive bathroom. He is out of the office on vacation so the chances of him catching me in there are practically zero. So, I went in, dropped the deuce and then flushed, washed my hands and bounced. Well, three days later I went in to pee right? And guess what I found. A fucking floater. And this floated, over the course of three days had dissolved into a brown mess that smelled like busted asshole. In fact, it probably smells worse now, then when I went in and did the deed the first time. Over the three days it magnified in smell.
Upon seeing the site in the bowl, I quickly flushed it away and after the water disappeared, I realized that there was a brown film developing where the meerky water had settled. Oh fuck. This totally looks dirty and my boss comes back on Saturday. The chances of him using this bathroom are pretty high, I would imagine. And now he is going to know that we use his bathroom. And do you know who he would ask about this? That's right, me. And I won't throw anyone under the bus, so I will just deny, deny, deny. But hopefully, it won't come to denying. If I can get the brown films washed away, and clean the bowl, no one will be the wiser.
No one, except for a coworker, who at lunch today, I found went into the executive bathroom (because the communal one was occupied) and discovered my leftovers. I laughed it off saying, "I took care of it." and then admitted it was mine. The real question I should have asked was "why the hell didn't you flush it when you saw it?"
With any luck, this will all be cleaned up by tomorrow and my boss will never know. I will keep you updated.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
PAs in the BA
Yerin and I decided to go to New York, the Big Apple, the City that Never sleeps, to celebrate Justin's 23 birthday party. We are both hard working, young professionals who have a tendency to spend like college students. Money on booze, as cheap as possible on everything else. Being this cheap led us to take a cheap bus. The company that runs this bus is called, Eastern Express. The irony of that name is that there was nothing express about the ride.
We bought tickets for an 8:00 AM bus ride. We arrived at the pickup location at 7:40. We checked in, and got in line. And we waited. We waited until 8:10 when a bus shows up. The manager of the bus company comes out of his office and informs us that the second bus that was suppose to take us to New York had broken down and would not be coming. Those us that weren't getting on this bus here, could either wait until the 9:00 AM bus or get a refund. To be honest, we should have taken the refund, gone home and just enjoyed the weekend. but we didn't. Our love for our friend Justin made us stand in a line, as it rained, waiting for a fucking bus. The bus that arrives at 9:15, opens its doors and allows us to a take a seat. We get going, and after a stop in Baltimore, to inform the people who think they are getting on the bus, that there is no room for them and that another bus would be coming "shortly." Why the fuck did we even stop? After another random stop at a rest stop in New Jersey where we picked up a strange man, we finally got into the city. We made our first stop in Chinatown, which took forever. Then we went to Penn Station where Yerin and I got off the bus from Hell.
We met up with Pfeffer, went to dinner at a local Patsy's eatery. I got the spinach noodle fettuccini Alfredo. It was really good.
Then we headed over to Justins. Shots were consumed, beers shotgunned, cigs smoked, none of these by me. Wait, there was a shot in there at one point. Party pics below.
After the party, Pfeffer, Yerin and I headed to a hotel party at the Tribeca Grand Hotel. Once we finally got down to SoHo on the subway (which I want to say on record is the most confusing public transportation system ever, and I hate it. The fact that Pfeffer told me that if I lived in New York, I would figure it out within a month or so. To me, that is 29 days to long to figure out a public system.)
So, after a little pit stop at a 24 hour McDs for fries and water, we arrive at the Tribeca Hotel. It is very nice. Lots of hipster kids. And by lots, I mean, we were the only non-hipsters there. It was awkward. Yerin and I sat by ourselves in a roped off couch section, which would normally be very cool. VIP like, to keep the hipsters at bay, away from our non-hipster ways. But in retrospect, I think the ropes kept us in and away from the hipsters. Damn you hipsters for making us think we were cooler than you by sitting in a roped off section, when in reality you put us there so we didn't bother you.
So, while Yerin and I are sitting there talking, I spot the girl that was in Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel. I couldn't remember her name, but I saw her. Moutaha is her name.
So, since I couldn't remember her name, I walked passed with my phone, pretending to go outside to make a call and turned. Pointed a little and said "You were totally robbed on that show." To which she smiled and replied, "Thank you." We had a nice little moment. Who cares if I lied? So what, she may have been the best girl, but she didn't deserve to win. But anyway, after that, we decided to go back to Pfef's apartment and get some sleep.
I woke up the next morning and we went to meet Tali and Justin at Cup and Saucer in Chinatown. It was delicious. Good coffee.
After that, Justin, Pfef, Yerin and I made our way back to Penn Station of our 3:30 pm bus ride home. We wasted time grabbing drinks at a local bar. Yerin and Justin's Koreanness kicked in and they played arcade games against each other. I think Yerin won during the bonus round.
When the bus finally arrived, at 4:15. We got on it, and made our way out of the city. The AC did not work on this bus so if was fucking hot. We suffer through this horrible bus ride to about, 20 miles outside of DC when the bus begins to beep and our driver pulls over. That's right readers, the bus broke down.
So after the bus broke down, everyone exited the bus, got on the blackberries and iphones and started to call cab companies. A nice man driving a super shuttle pulled over and offered a ride. This crazy man thought he was Cole Trickle from Days of Thunder. He was trying to be a personal best time, I think. He was insane. Weaving in and out of lanes, running yellow lights, speeding. It was crazy.
Here Yerin was praying we lived. I joined her in pray. Our prays worked, we did.
We bought tickets for an 8:00 AM bus ride. We arrived at the pickup location at 7:40. We checked in, and got in line. And we waited. We waited until 8:10 when a bus shows up. The manager of the bus company comes out of his office and informs us that the second bus that was suppose to take us to New York had broken down and would not be coming. Those us that weren't getting on this bus here, could either wait until the 9:00 AM bus or get a refund. To be honest, we should have taken the refund, gone home and just enjoyed the weekend. but we didn't. Our love for our friend Justin made us stand in a line, as it rained, waiting for a fucking bus. The bus that arrives at 9:15, opens its doors and allows us to a take a seat. We get going, and after a stop in Baltimore, to inform the people who think they are getting on the bus, that there is no room for them and that another bus would be coming "shortly." Why the fuck did we even stop? After another random stop at a rest stop in New Jersey where we picked up a strange man, we finally got into the city. We made our first stop in Chinatown, which took forever. Then we went to Penn Station where Yerin and I got off the bus from Hell.
We met up with Pfeffer, went to dinner at a local Patsy's eatery. I got the spinach noodle fettuccini Alfredo. It was really good.
Then we headed over to Justins. Shots were consumed, beers shotgunned, cigs smoked, none of these by me. Wait, there was a shot in there at one point. Party pics below.
After the party, Pfeffer, Yerin and I headed to a hotel party at the Tribeca Grand Hotel. Once we finally got down to SoHo on the subway (which I want to say on record is the most confusing public transportation system ever, and I hate it. The fact that Pfeffer told me that if I lived in New York, I would figure it out within a month or so. To me, that is 29 days to long to figure out a public system.)
So, after a little pit stop at a 24 hour McDs for fries and water, we arrive at the Tribeca Hotel. It is very nice. Lots of hipster kids. And by lots, I mean, we were the only non-hipsters there. It was awkward. Yerin and I sat by ourselves in a roped off couch section, which would normally be very cool. VIP like, to keep the hipsters at bay, away from our non-hipster ways. But in retrospect, I think the ropes kept us in and away from the hipsters. Damn you hipsters for making us think we were cooler than you by sitting in a roped off section, when in reality you put us there so we didn't bother you.
So, while Yerin and I are sitting there talking, I spot the girl that was in Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel. I couldn't remember her name, but I saw her. Moutaha is her name.
So, since I couldn't remember her name, I walked passed with my phone, pretending to go outside to make a call and turned. Pointed a little and said "You were totally robbed on that show." To which she smiled and replied, "Thank you." We had a nice little moment. Who cares if I lied? So what, she may have been the best girl, but she didn't deserve to win. But anyway, after that, we decided to go back to Pfef's apartment and get some sleep.
I woke up the next morning and we went to meet Tali and Justin at Cup and Saucer in Chinatown. It was delicious. Good coffee.
After that, Justin, Pfef, Yerin and I made our way back to Penn Station of our 3:30 pm bus ride home. We wasted time grabbing drinks at a local bar. Yerin and Justin's Koreanness kicked in and they played arcade games against each other. I think Yerin won during the bonus round.
When the bus finally arrived, at 4:15. We got on it, and made our way out of the city. The AC did not work on this bus so if was fucking hot. We suffer through this horrible bus ride to about, 20 miles outside of DC when the bus begins to beep and our driver pulls over. That's right readers, the bus broke down.
So after the bus broke down, everyone exited the bus, got on the blackberries and iphones and started to call cab companies. A nice man driving a super shuttle pulled over and offered a ride. This crazy man thought he was Cole Trickle from Days of Thunder. He was trying to be a personal best time, I think. He was insane. Weaving in and out of lanes, running yellow lights, speeding. It was crazy.
Here Yerin was praying we lived. I joined her in pray. Our prays worked, we did.
Even PAs get to travel
So, last weekend, I kicked off the PA Tour. My first stop was in Chicago to take in some sites and delicious food. Here is a recap of that weekend...
Allison and I arrived at the Raffaello Hotel where my uncle has procured a hotel suite. We drop off the bags and head to Michigan Ave for some light shopping. Allison went into the Louis Vuitton store and was inquiring about the monogrammed LV cashmere blanket throw thing, to which the sales woman replied, "let me check." She came back with a blanket (that arrived in a cheap plastic bag that looked like it was shipped from China) and informed us that this blanket was a very special blanket. These blankets are limited to a certain number so it is very special. She told us the price. "This is 1080 dollars. That is a great price for something that is going to be in your family for a long time." What? When I heard her say the price followed by the clear explanation of why it cost so much (its practically a piece of art) I held in my laughter until we got outside.
After Louisville, Allison wanted to go to Gucci where she contemplated buying her brother two ties for his birthday, while I contemplated this hot woman with a baby as either a nanny or a mommy. I am going to go with nanny, even though she was probably the mother of the very well behaved little boy in the stroller.
After some more shopping we went back to the hotel and changed for dinner at RL. RL is Ralph Lauren's restaurant that is set at the store. It was very good. I got the Amish Chicken with creamed corn and some fancy cheesy potatoes. Allison got the Salmon. But the food wasn't the most exciting part. We sat next to a woman who I think must have been some Chicagoan socialite. Her table had a reserved sign on it. When she sat down, all of the managers and waitstaff stopped by the table to say hello. At one point she got up from her table and made the rounds at the restaurant saying hello to her "dearest friends." At one point I went to the bathroom and returned to find Allison in conversation with her. What Allison discovered was that she eats all her meals out, every restaurant in town knows how she is, the following night she would be eating at Joe's. When I returned to the table, she asked how long Allison and I had been married to which I should have replied, "oh, we're not married, we have just been living in sin for the last three years." Of course, I didn't do that since I was mostly sober (unlike my last trip to RL, thanks UJ for that, it was awesome). After that we went back to the hotel and got some sleep so that we could get up early and do some site seeing.
The following morning, we hailed a cab and met the best cabbie in Chicago. His name is Chad Small. We asked him for a recommendation for brunch (since my go to brunch place "Orange on Harrison" was closed, damn recession) and he recommend, Yolk, "the new location because it will be less crowded and therefore better chances of getting a table without waiting an hour." He was right. After some more recommendation from Chad about the best sandwich and pizza in town we jumped out of his cab at the hoppin' eatery. We walked into Yolk like we owned the place (i tend to do that a lot anyway) and were seated right away in this side booth where we could people watch.
We ordered some delicious food. I ordered the "create your own scrambler with a short stack" and Allison ordered a...a...something that came in a skillet and was delicious. This was my meal half way through.
After Yolk, we hit the Elle Train and went to some hipster scene. It was all sex shops and vintage clothes. Also, a really great used bookstore (I love a good used bookstore) we found some vintage Playboys. Awesome find. I bought some posters for my walls and we headed back down town to meet Allison's friends.
After meeting up with Allison's friends, they all went to a cocktail party and I was left in the hotel room watching TNT, they know drama.
Once the show was over I went down to Girodanos because Chad Small recommend the Italian beef sandwich and the Famous Stuffed Pizza. I had to wait 1 hour and 20 minutes, just to get a table (don't they know who I am) and then we had to wait another hour for the pizza.
Here is the Italian sandwich, fucking delicious.
Here is the pizza
After all that, we went back to the hotel and passed out.
The following day, we had breakfast at the Cafe Bistro across the street from the hotel. After eggs and bacon, Allison and I went our separate ways. She headed to her convention and I went to the Chicago History Museum. I walked to entire way there, all 23 blocks. I got to see some of Chicago I have never seen before. Here is a picture of the John Hancock building on my walk.
After the museum I headed back downtown to meet up with Allison for some dinner. We ended up going to the Navy Pier (super touristy) but it was good time. We rode the Ferris Wheel.
This is when we got to the top.
After that we had dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp and went back to the hotel. The next morning we headed back to the airport, but Allison wasn't feeling too good. We got back to Virginia and I went to work the next day. Allison got really sick and was out of work for two days. That sucked.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Really?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Monday, June 8, 2009
Women plus Ray Ban Aviators equals ????
HOT!!!
Women in Hollywood need sunglasses. The weather in Sunny Southern California is just that, sunny. They need eye protection from the harmful UV rays of the sun, as well as the bright flashes of paparazzi. Here are my favorite beauties rocking the Ray Ban Classic Aviator. I threw in a picture of Brad Pitt too, for you ladies. (PS, I owned none of these pictures.)
Women in Hollywood need sunglasses. The weather in Sunny Southern California is just that, sunny. They need eye protection from the harmful UV rays of the sun, as well as the bright flashes of paparazzi. Here are my favorite beauties rocking the Ray Ban Classic Aviator. I threw in a picture of Brad Pitt too, for you ladies. (PS, I owned none of these pictures.)
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