Holy Shits

Ok, I know I talk about poop on this blog a lot. We all do it because if we didn't poop, just imagine what people would look like if they didn't. So anyway, after my morning coffee and I need to do the deed, right? So, instead of going to the usual communal bathroom, located by our office manager's desk I decided to use my boss' executive bathroom. He is out of the office on vacation so the chances of him catching me in there are practically zero. So, I went in, dropped the deuce and then flushed, washed my hands and bounced. Well, three days later I went in to pee right? And guess what I found. A fucking floater. And this floated, over the course of three days had dissolved into a brown mess that smelled like busted asshole. In fact, it probably smells worse now, then when I went in and did the deed the first time. Over the three days it magnified in smell.
Upon seeing the site in the bowl, I quickly flushed it away and after the water disappeared, I realized that there was a brown film developing where the meerky water had settled. Oh fuck. This totally looks dirty and my boss comes back on Saturday. The chances of him using this bathroom are pretty high, I would imagine. And now he is going to know that we use his bathroom. And do you know who he would ask about this? That's right, me. And I won't throw anyone under the bus, so I will just deny, deny, deny. But hopefully, it won't come to denying. If I can get the brown films washed away, and clean the bowl, no one will be the wiser.

No one, except for a coworker, who at lunch today, I found went into the executive bathroom (because the communal one was occupied) and discovered my leftovers. I laughed it off saying, "I took care of it." and then admitted it was mine. The real question I should have asked was "why the hell didn't you flush it when you saw it?"

With any luck, this will all be cleaned up by tomorrow and my boss will never know. I will keep you updated.